Hilanet MCP

An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.

- increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
- fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
- request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
- generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
- schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
- decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
- office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
- block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
- mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
- relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
- disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
- generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews

The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:

# Navigate to the project directory cd path/to/hilanet-mcp # Start the MCP server directly with npx npx tsx src/index.ts

You can also start the server using the npm scripts:

# With development tools npm run dev # With inspector interface npm run inspect

# Clone the repository git clone https://github.com/yourusername/hilanet-mcp.git cd hilanet-mcp # Install dependencies npm install # Build the project npm run build

{ "mcpServers": { "hilanet": { "command": "npx", "args": [ "tsx", "/path/to/hilanet-mcp/src/index.ts" ], "cwd": "/path/to/hilanet-mcp" } } }

After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.

- "I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
- "I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
- "I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
- "Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
- "I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."

Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.

- amount(optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)
- percentage(optional): Percentage to increase
- reason: Reason for requesting a salary increase

Note: You must provide eitheramountorpercentage.

Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.

- manager_name: Full name of your manager
- complaints: List of specific complaints about your manager
- evidence: Description of evidence supporting your complaints

Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.

- hours: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)
- reason: Why you want to work unpaid overtime
- notify_manager: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication

Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.

- context: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)
- intensity: Jargon intensity level (1-10)
- include_acronyms: Whether to include meaningless acronyms

Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.

- title: Meeting title
- duration: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)
- attendees: List of people to invite
- bring_food: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch

Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.

- colleague_name: Name of your colleague
- percentage: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)
- reasons: List of reasons why they deserve less money
- redirect_to_you: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours

Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.

- temperature: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)
- target_area: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)
- reason: Justification for temperature adjustment

Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.

- colleague_name: Name of colleague to block
- methods: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)
- promotion_opportunity: The position or opportunity they're aiming for

Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.

- activity: Type of 'fun' activity to plan
- day: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)
- duration: Duration in hours (2-12)
- personal_expenses_required: Whether employees must pay their own expenses

Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.

- employee_name: Name of employee to relocate
- new_location: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)
- justification: Official reason for the relocation

Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.

- duration: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)
- method: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)
- target_groups: Specific teams or individuals to affect

Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.

- employee_name: Name of employee to review
- overall_rating: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)
- include_criticism: Whether to include demotivating criticism

This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!

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